they-cant-comprehend asked: I like your blog :D
Thank you! I’ve got to keep at it more. I’ve moved over to http://www.ashleybobbi.com :D
Dear Alex Chilton and The Box Tops:
I seriously love you guys. I mean you guys rule. You’re a classic band. But I thought you might be able to use a few polite suggestions on purchasing a plane ticket.
1. Demanding a plane ticket can be off putting. “Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane,”…
Get Ready for another Trip Journal!
July 2011, its on. We’re all booked for our trip to Alberta. We’ll be starting off with the Calgary Stampede, then off for some fun in Edmonton at the West Edmonton Mall (which houses not only an amusement park but a water park as well), after Edmonton we’re heading west towards Jasper, then we’re headed South to Banff, before we end our journey in Calgary. I CANNOT WAIT!
Poutine is Quebec’s most famous fast-food dish. It has a simple ingredient list; french fries, cheese and gravy. The dreamy concoction originated sometime in the 1950’s, and several Quebec communities all argue that they are responsible for creating it. There is a popular tale that originates from…
Rodney Oneliners - these are great!
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
I’ll tell ya, my wife and I, we don’t think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I’ll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, “Wait til it gets warmer.”
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, “I’m very sorry. We did everything we could…but he pulled through.”
I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
One year they wanted to make me poster boy… for birth control.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass!
My wife isn’t very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, “Did you see the guy that did it?” She said, “No, but I got the license plate.”
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.
Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, “Do you think we’ll ever find them?” He said, “I don’t know kid. There are so many places they can hide.”
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, “On your mark…”
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.
um. WHAT could possibly be cuter???????
We came, we ate, we conqured. pt. 3
On to day #2. We woke up and we’re ready for an early start. We were excited to walk through Central Park and enjoy the sunshine. Little did we know it was freezing cold outside. We had an 11:30 reservation at Perry St. (a Jean Gorges restaurant) for brunch. We found a great parking spot and battled the cold. We were seated and our waiter was right with us. Again, this was, like Daniel, a three course meal - yes, that means DESSERT after breakfast! I started with a pea soup that was out of this world. It was garnished with sourdough croutons and crispy spinach which gave it an amazing texture. Every bite was mouth watering. For my main dish I had the Omelet with bacon and more of the delicious sourdough croutons. Dessert was the best part. Molten lava cake with home made vanilla bean ice cream, ahhh. I wish I had some right now!
After breakfast we headed over to MoMA. Neither of us had even been so we decided to check it out. The top floor alone was worth the entrance price. It was amazing seeing pieces of art we’ve read and learned about up close.
My favorite section was the Warhol’s and pop art. Overall the whole museum was outstanding, and with our tickets we were granted admission into MoMA’s second museum in Queens called PS1.
After the museum we were going to head over to PS1 but once again, hunger struck. We’ve been dying to try Brooklyn’s famous DiFara pizza joint and decided that it was the perfect time. DiFara is a special place and there is always a line up around the block. The wait is worth every second. We placed our order and went back to the car to pass the 45 minute wait (We would have walked around but since DiFara is in the middle of a Jewish neighborhood everything was closed for Shabbat). When the 45 minutes were up we headed back inside to claim a table and wait for the pizza to come out. When they called our name to pick it up I couldn’t wait. Dom DeMarco, pizza chef extraordinaire, takes the pie out of the oven, drizzles it with oil (and by drizzles I mean POURS), and cuts on fresh basil that he has specially imported from Israel. This man is a pure genius and my Hero. We polished off an entire pie (which is equivalent to an Extra Large) savoring every bite. I’ll never look at Pizza the same way again.
Now, since we were so full from the Pizza, dessert was obviously our next option but what to have? Well since we were right near Coney Island, home of the original Nathan’s, that was obviously the answer! So we headed to Nathan’s to split a hotdog! I loved the atmosphere and the look of the place but I was far from impressed with the quality of the hotdog.
Time for a break, we headed back into the city to check into our second hotel, The Millenium Broadway. Aside from the long wait to check in, this room was perfect. We headed up for a much needed nap. When we awoke we were hungry. It was getting late and we didn’t know where to go. The concierge at the hotel told us about Japan Iron Chef Morimoto’s self named restaurant and we decided to give it a try. He told us there would be no wait at this time and we wouldn’t have trouble getting in. When we got there the Maitre D’ told us that there was about an hour wait but we could be seated in the bar area downstairs. She realized how exhausted and hungry we were and hooked us up with a table instead which was super cool of her. We sat down and ordered. I don’t generally like seafood with the exception of shrimp so for my starter I ordered the ‘Crispy Rock Shrimp Tempura’ which had two different plates of shrimp marinated differently. They were both amazing, and this dish BLEW Nobu’s version out of the park! For dinner I ordered the 20 oz. Wagu Filet and it was incredible. It was cooked to perfection, tender and bursting with flavor. They served it piping hot on a cast iron skillet and at the table the waiter poured this incredible sauce over it. The whole meal was just perfect.
We came, we ate, we conqured. pt. 2
Ah finally, we checked into to our Hotel for the first night, The Park Central Hotel, perfectly situated between Times Square and Central Park. We valet the car and are ready to check in and dive in for a nap. Dinner is in about 3 hours and we just want to rest. We get the keys to our room (a free upgrade to a suite!) and head up. Surprise surprise, dry pee on the toilet seat. Not the end of the world right? Well, how do you feel about the hairs we found when we pulled back to comforter? I can tell you that we were not happy. I call downstairs and the front desk tells us that they’ll change our room. I run down get the key and we’re off. Room #2. Let me tell you about room #2, situated right next to a room hosting a bachelorette party, with paper thin walls. Already a bad start, we enter to find a balcony without a lock. Anyone from another room can hop the railing and come right in. This room was unacceptable. We had no time to switch at the moment because we needed to get ready for our dinner at Daniel.
Now Daniel is a Michelin 3 Star restaurant in New York and by far the fanciest restaurant I’ve ever been to. The men had to wear their sports jackets the entire time and if you wanted to remove it you needed special permission from the Maitre D’. It was really fancy, expensive, and one of the best meals of my life. I wish I had pictures to show you, but unfortunately I didn’t take any. It was a three course meal and a bread man who kept passing by with an array of breads.
After the heavenly meal we were headed back to our hotel to crash. On to room #3 which was finally decent. I think at this point we were too tired to care. We passed out almost immediately.
